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Written with love by Total Bump to support every tired parent out there
If you’re reading this at 2 a.m. with a baby won’t sleep, please know this: you’re not alone. Whether your little one is waking up every hour, fighting naps, or simply refusing bedtime altogether, sleep struggles are one of the most exhausting parts of early parenthood — physically and emotionally.
I know this firsthand. When I had my first daughter, the thing I struggled with most was the sleepless nights. I’d spend hours awake, rocking her, nursing her, changing her diaper — and sometimes, she’d wake up just to play or stare at the ceiling. I could hardly get more than 30 minutes of sleep at a time. And since I’ve always had trouble falling back asleep, mornings felt like I hadn’t rested at all. Being that tired gave me headaches and made me feel sad and overwhelmed.
This went on for three long years. But eventually, things got better. Her sleep became regular, she started sleeping on her own, and I finally found some peace. Now, my daughter is seven, and every time I see another mom going through those early sleep battles, I just want to hug her and say, You will get through this.
So take a deep breath with me. I’ve written this article from the heart, filled with everything I wish someone had told me back then — why babies won’t sleep and, more importantly, what actually helps. You’re not doing anything wrong, and yes, better sleep is possible.
How much sleep should your baby be getting?
Pediatric experts, including those at the American Academy of Pediatrics, recommend that most newborns get roughly 16 to 17 hours of sleep within every 24-hour day.
But don’t expect that sleep to come all at once — babies tend to snooze in short stretches throughout the day and night, often waking for feeds or comfort. It’s totally normal for their sleep to feel unpredictable in the beginning.
Reasons Why Your Baby Won’t Sleep:
Your Baby’s Sleep Cycles Are Still Developing
Newborns don’t have the same internal clocks (circadian rhythms) as adults. They can’t tell the difference between day and night yet — which means waking every 2-3 hours is totally normal for the first few months.
Overtired = Harder to Sleep
Ironically, an overtired baby usually finds it even harder to fall asleep and stay asleep. If your little one is up too long between naps, their body gets flooded with cortisol (the stress hormone), which leads to more fussiness and less sleep.
Hunger or Growth Spurts
Babies go through growth spurts where they need to feed more often — even overnight. In the first year, they often experience these rapid phases around 3 and 6 weeks, and then again at 3 and 6 months. More feeds = more wakeups.
During these times, feeding (especially breastfeeding) can feel extra demanding. Many parents find it helpful to learn more about how feeding routines shift during growth spurts — it’s something we explore in more detail over on Total Bump, check out our breastfeeding article : Breastfeeding Tips for New Moms.
Developmental Leaps
Cognitive or motor development can temporarily disrupt sleep. Learning to roll, crawl, or even babble can keep their little brains buzzing at bedtime.
Teething Pain
Teething usually starts around 4–7 months, and the discomfort can make it hard for your baby to settle. You might notice more drooling, biting, and fussiness during sleep time.
How Can You Tell When Your Baby Is Sleepy?
Babies don’t come with a “sleep now” button, but they do give little clues when they’re ready to rest. Catching those early signs can help you avoid overtiredness — which often makes it harder for them to settle down.
Catching sleepiness early is a game changer for smoother naps and bedtimes. If your baby won’t sleep, it might just be a matter of missing these early sleepy cues. Learning to spot them can be your secret weapon.
The trick is to watch for the first sleepy signals and begin the nap or bedtime routine right away. With time, you’ll learn your baby’s rhythms like a pro.
Here are a few early signs your newborn might be ready to snooze:
- Yawning
- Rubbing their eyes
- Slightly red or flushed eyebrows
- Quiet fussiness
- Blank stares or zoning out
Remember, these are different from the signs of a baby who’s already overtired — like intense crying, arching their back, or becoming very hard to soothe. Catching sleepiness early is a game changer for smoother naps and bedtimes!
Safe Sleep Tips for Your Newborn
Keeping your baby safe while they sleep is one of the most important things you can do — especially in those early months. While the exact causes of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) are still unknown, there are several steps you can take to lower the risk and create a secure sleep environment for your little one.
Here’s what safe sleep looks like:
- Always lay your baby on their back for naps and nighttime sleep. This position offers the highest level of safety and lowers the chance of suffocation.
- Use a firm, flat sleep surface like a crib or bassinet — no extras needed. That means no blankets, pillows, toys, or stuffed animals. A fitted sheet is all you need.
- Avoid bed-sharing, even though it might feel comforting in the moment. Sleeping in the same bed increases the risk of accidental suffocation or rolling onto your baby.
The safest setup? Let your baby sleep in a bassinet or crib placed right beside your bed. It’s cozy and safe — the perfect balance for peace of mind.
12 Newborn Sleep Tips Every Tired Parent Needs to Know
Those early weeks with a newborn can be a whirlwind of feeding, diaper changes, and wondering if you’ll ever sleep again. While every baby is different, there are little things you can do to help create better sleep habits — even if you’re running on coffee and hope. Here are 9 gentle sleep tips for new parents that can truly make a difference:
1. Swaddle Snugly (But Safely)
Babies are born with a natural startle reflex — those jerky movements that make them feel like they’re falling. It’s totally normal, but it can also wake them up mid-nap. Swaddling helps your baby feel secure and keeps their arms tucked in, which can minimize those wakeups.
You can choose from traditional wraps, zip-up styles, or Velcro swaddles. Pick what feels easiest for you and keeps your baby cozy (without overheating or wiggling loose).
2. Keep the Room Cool and Comfy
Babies actually sleep better when their environment is a little on the cooler side. Try to keep the room comfortably cool, ideally between 68°F and 72°F (20°C to 22°C), for better baby sleep. Dress your baby in soft, breathable sleepwear — nothing too heavy — and skip the blankets.
3. Differentiate Day from Night
Newborns can’t yet tell day from night, so help guide their internal clock. During the day, keep the house bright and active. At night, keep things dim and quiet to signal that it’s time to sleep. If outside light is a problem, blackout curtains can really help.
4. Use White Noise to Calm and Soothe
Your baby spent months in the womb surrounded by constant sound. Silence can actually feel weird to them. White noise machines, or even a simple fan, can help block out household noise and create a calming background that promotes better sleep.
5. Change Diapers Before Sleep
A wet or dirty diaper can make it hard for your little one to settle down. Try doing a quick diaper check and change right before naps and bedtime. If your baby has sensitive skin or a rash, be sure to apply a gentle diaper cream to prevent irritation that might keep them up.
6. Watch for Sleepy Cues
Yawning, rubbing eyes, turning away, zoning out — these are signs your baby is getting sleepy. Catch them before they hit overtired mode, which makes bedtime harder.
Yawning, rubbing eyes, turning away, zoning out — these are signs your baby won’t sleep for much longer unless you act fast. Catch them before they hit overtired mode.
7. Create a Calm, Simple Bedtime Routine
Even newborns love a bit of predictability. A soothing routine before sleep can help signal to your baby that it’s time to wind down. Keep it gentle and consistent — something like this :
- A warm, relaxing bath
- Soft baby massage with lotion
- Clean diaper and comfy pajamas
- Feeding while cuddling
- Rocking, humming, or quiet time in a dim room
You don’t need to stick to a strict schedule, but having this peaceful pattern can make nighttime feel more secure for both of you.
8. Try the Wake-Sleep Method
Place your baby down when they’re sleepy but still awake to help them learn how to fall asleep independently. It may take a few tries (and some tears), but it helps them build self-soothing skills.
9. Keep an Eye on Nap Timing
Newborns nap a lot, but spacing out wake windows during the day can help them sleep better at night. If your baby sleeps too close to bedtime, they might not be ready to sleep again. You don’t need to force a strict nap schedule, just gently observe your baby’s rhythms and aim for a bit of awake time before the evening wind-down.
10. Respond with Comfort, Not Guilt
It’s okay to pick them up, rock them, or offer a pacifier when they cry. You’re not spoiling your baby. You’re helping them feel safe — and that’s a key part of sleep readiness.
11. Don’t Forget to Care for Yourself Too
Sleep deprivation can take a serious toll on your body and mind. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, reach out — whether it’s to your partner, a friend, or a support group. Tag-teaming bedtime or trading night shifts when possible can give you time to recharge. Your mental health matters just as much as your baby’s rest.
What If Nothing Seems to Work?
Every baby won’t sleep the same way — some need more time to find their sleep rhythm. That doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. If sleep struggles persist beyond 6 months and are deeply affecting your mental health or your baby’s well-being, talk to your pediatrician or a certified sleep consultant.
This Won’t Last Forever
We know it feels endless right now — the crying, the rocking, the nighttime pacing — but this phase will pass. If your baby won’t sleep tonight, there’s still hope for tomorrow. Sleepless nights are a part of early parenting, and they don’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
So please, trust yourself. Be kind to yourself. You’re doing better than you think, and your baby will eventually learn to sleep longer and more peacefully. At Total Bump, we see you. We’ve been there. And we truly believe in you.
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